Grade Your Relationship Skills

If you had to grade your relationship "performance",  would you give yourself an "A"...or an "F"?

If you have the habit of loving  reactively instead of consciously, you are going to have to take off some points.  Reactive love is when your love is totally conditional, based on "getting" rather than "giving."  And reactive love is not ever going to give you the outcome that you want.

Here is a lesson in how real love works.  You will attract into your life what you are, not simply what you want. If you want a loving relationship, you must be loving, not just wait for loving.  Relationship success can only be created deliberately, not reactively.

So it is really important to spend some time asking yourself, "Who do I want to be in my relationship?"

You can ask yourself more questions like:

What sort of personal qualities do I want to bring to my relationship?  List as many qualities as you like, qualities like caring, generosity, truthfulness, passion, and emotional stability.

What would you stop, start, do more of and do less of?

Do you want to communicate more openly?  How are you getting in your own way?


Do you want to manage your emotions better? Think about what this would look like.


Do you want to listen better?  What noise in your head blocks you from feeling compassion in your heart?


Do you want to change how you handle disappointment? The last time you expressed frustration to your partner, how old did you feel?  Like an adult or like a toddler?



What is stopping you from being your best self?  When you answer this, try not to pass that "big old ball of blame" to your partner.


Give yourself an honest grade for your relationship performance.  You are not perfect yet...so what?  Relationships grow in stages.  The more you learn, the faster your relationship will grow.

Decide what kind of partner you want to be.  Then show up and get it done.  Each step will move you closer the love you want.