Learn To Say "I'm Sorry"

Ah...the bliss of new love.  Passionate kisses, romance, harmony.  The feeling that you have found that special someone who will make your life complete.

Too bad the bliss only lasts about 6 months. 

Falling in love is easy, maintaining your love...a little bit more tricky.

According to research on marital success, all couples fight. However, successful couples have better repair skills. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control.



Here are the six most important repair moves that you should learn:

Learn to say "I'm sorry" in response to your partner's pain is crucial to long term happiness.


Reveal softer feelings underneath your anger such as fear, embarrassment, or insecurity. Anger pushes your partner further away but softer, more vulnerable feelings pull your partner closer. 

Validate your partner’s point of view - acknowledging that your partner's view "makes sense" can decrease tension and conflict because it shows your partner you are at least listening to them.

Take responsibility for some of the conflict.  Try not to make a lot of excuses.  Inability to accept any responsibility is a sign of defensiveness rather than the openness required for good communication.

Focus on your common ground - instead of getting into a "Me verses You" battle, use words like "we" and "us."  Connection through your differences is the way your relationship will deepen.
Tell your partner what you are willing to do differently in the future.  Words have to be backed up with actions.  Change is in the "doing." 

Conflict avoidance is the number one cause of divorce.  Conflict is natural but disconnection is optional when you have these REPAIR skills down.