Conflict is inevitable because differences are natural.
Conflict does not have to be threatening or distancing if you learn how to maintain CONNECTION while you are working through your differences.
You will stay emotionally connected when each feels mutual understanding (your ideas make sense), mutual empathy (your feelings are valid), and mutual influence (that your partner is willing to be moved by your position.)
The Tommy Technique is a way to listen to your partner in a way that is soothing and validating. Your partner is “soothed” and validated when they feel seen, heard and understood. When they feel like their partner is “touched” by their feelings in a way that moves them, figuratively and literally.
I name this technique after the song by The Who called Listening to You.
“The Tommy Technique":
See me – LOOK YOUR PARTNER IN THE EYE
Feel me –ATTUNE TO THEIR VULNERABLITY
Touch me –TENDER TOUCH IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
Heal me – LISTENING WITH CURIOUSITY INSTEAD OF JUDGEMENT "HEALS" DISCONNECTION!
About Rhonda Audia, MSW
- Rhonda Audia, MSW
- The road to relationship success can be difficult to navigate. There are four relationship stages to be mastered and conflict is a normal and necessary part of this process. Rhonda Audia, a.k.a. The Guru for Two, can enlighten your travels with wit, insight, and practical advice. She has over 20 years experience helping people achieve relationship success. Her physical counseling practice is located in Tampa, Florida. She also provides education and counseling on the phone, email, and Skype.
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