Are you in a Mindful or Mindless Relationship?

Let’s face it, most of us have mindless relationships.

Its not that we don’t start out with good intentions. We all want love, happiness, harmony.

However, when conflict rears its "ugly" head, and it always does, our anxiety escalates and we react in old habitual ways. Our fight or flight responses are ineffective and perpetuate the very problems we are trying to solve.

The mindful relationship techniques will give you the tools to respond rather than unconsciously react to stress. Relationship mindfulness helps you step back and observe what’s going on in your head and in between you and your partner so that you can choose words and actions that are effective and purposeful.

Do you have a mindful relationship? Answer these questions:

1) Have you and your partner ever discussed your relationship purpose? Do you see that the relationship is about more than satisfying individual needs?

2) At times of stress, do you pull your partner towards you or push him/her away?

3) Do you listen to your partner with curiousity or judgement?

4) Do you speak to reveal your own truth or to control/coerce your partner?

5) So you use harsh feelings or soft feelings to express your needs?

6) When in conflict are you able to hear the "reasonable requests" you both are making underneath the "fake fight?"

7) Do you and your partner know how to soothe one another?

8) Do you manage your own anxiety or does your anxiety manage you?

9) Can you stay emotionally connected, even when you disagree, by ACCEPTING, ATTUNING, and AFFIRMING?

10) Who do you put first, the me or the we?